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A little light of Hope

Whoaw! Thank you so much. I do really appreciate what had happened to me recently. Oh God, I would like to say thank you a million times for everything. hehe. I thank you more specifically on this little light of hope that I have witnessed and started to believe in. It made me more hopeful and feeling like fulfilling though it's still the beginning and I'm still uncertain of what would be the next one to happen. Yeah, Im not really certain of what would really happen afterwards whether it's a gloomy one or a happy one. Well, I am hoping that this would be a good sign to me and hoping that this little light would continue to light brightly as i struggle until the right time.

I started to believe that specific instance, when like everyhing messed up as an omen or a good omen to me. Fortunately, it was. Hopefully, I would be lucky enough for this. How i really wish that my wishes would be granted to me. However, we can never tell, so we just need to move and fight the battle with unique armors that we have and never lose hope. That is really life!

Agony

I'm so sick of the challenges I'm encountering in my life right now. OMG! I'm greatly challenged. It's like I'm getting afraid facing pains and failures again but that is the reality and parcel of life. I'm just thankful because I stay strong and there is still a little hope in me to fight and move on despite of the pain and failures i have encountered. Yeah, I cannot deny that there is really a time when I feel like giving up. There are times when i also feel inferior! I feel very empty. I have started feeling emptiness when one of my happiness gone away. It hurts! Though Im feeling negative but Im really trying not be overpowered by my pessimistic attitude or else , I would mess up. I used to think then, that maybe God really has another plan and HE still polishing it for me. Naks! I can still feel hopeful that one day Someone and something have already polished for me. So, it made me think that maybe I just need to encounter or experience enough pain and failures and I'd better off this way so that I'd be ready and stronger in struggling my life for the better!

Moreover, one thing that I like and observed in myself is that I can still manage to understand why certain things happened to me and move on about it. I was enlightened and started to believe recently that I am a strong person when this new friend of mine told me that I am. As well as based on how i manage myself despite of those painful experiences. I still have the strength to keep going and moving! As my defense mechanism I'd say, Maybe this is not yet the right time for me and someone and something better would come to me someday! In God's glory. hehe. I'm trying to divert my sad emotion of course, in order to think better and positive. hehe. Well, I do really have faith in God and hoping to have more faith in Him in every challenges I'm gonna encounter. Hahay, I feel quite relieve right now after what i've typed in here though not everything has been clearly said. It's just a way for me to share and express my emotion and agony.

Expressing the Painful Sensation

I am suffering from 2 severe pains right now. I hate this kind of feelings. As much as i wanted to avoid or let go of it, i don't have the power to do so. It keeps on bothering me really! I just need an answer to one of these pains. I was left hanging by one of the pains that i am struggling. huhu. Lord, just give me the courage and strength for these. However, on the good side, i tried to perceive the other pain as another challenge for me. Though the act is negative, i am trying to see and respond to it positively. And, in order for me to move on and to give myself more Hopes!

It's kind'a weird! Uhm, I don't want to bother mentioning here these pains in me. I am just like expressing the feeling. Hopefully, i would be able to get through with these. And i believe that time is what i need to help me get over it. How i wish it would just take seconds to heal these f****** pains!

Wholesome Not

What is "MASBATE"? Any idea?

Well, I and my close friend were texting and we were like dragged into a specific topic where i got this weird word. hmmm. I was like curious of what he meant by "MASBATE". For the second time, he said it again and that's the time when i asked him what does this word mean. He was like shocked why i asked and it gave him the perception that i'm really still that innocent in this matter. Then, with no hesitation he perfectly described or explained it to me.

Here's what he said:

"Huhummp! Masbate. d term is used as d act of releasing by d male species of their sexual urges or the sperm, to be precised. (Since he's a guy, He told this..) We do dis by holding our rifle and gently smoothing it up and down.. up and down, repeatedly until it shoots an xplosion of white cream, sperm! $ d female species, you do ds by caressing d cli2ris or d "mani2" of ur castle. Rubing it gently continuosly..feeling for urselves a burning, fulfilling sensation and until u reached d climax point. U will feel an xplosion insyd of u. sumtyms f u rily get n2 d feel, cum will shoot out of ur castle is really wet! Others prefer to do d fingering thng inserting 1-3 fingers in2 d castle's entrance while rubing w/ ur other hand d cli2ris or "mani2". & sumtyms, other insert vibra2rs or even an eggplant! weird! Also masbate is sumtyms intrtwined w/ masturbation! there u go! "

That's it! When i read the first sentence, i then got what it means. Tsk! I really feel like "EWW!" while reading it. But hey, im not being hypocrite here, i'm just too conservative on this matter . He really exerted an effort of defining it for me. toinx!

Thus, "MASBATE" is known as Masturbation or Masturbate. It's like a shortcut name by some people. Westeners call it as Masturbate.

yahoo! - Thank You!

Wow! I did feel like overwhelmed knowing that i will be receiving my first salary in my ever first job or employer! When i told my Mom about it, she congratulated me and i can feel it that she is very happy for me and for herself as well. I can say that she feels contented and also proud to herself because despite the fact that she is a single parent, she was able to successfully raise her children well. Well, last night, i got my salary through my ATM debit card. nakz! Just today, i give some share to my Auntie and his family since i am staying with them in their house. And of course, i have to offer some amount to the church as my Thanks giving and Thanks offering. I'm so thankful in everything that happened to me right now. Despite of some failures, depressions and pain i felt, i still have the courage and strength to move on and face the truth of life. Yeah, now I do believe the saying, At the end of the tunnel there is always light! You really need to undergo hardship and painful experiences before you'll get into it and you would feel like in a "cloud 9". Since this is my first step in the real world, i can't really deny that i am greatly challenged and i almost gave up due to those challenges and my negative perceptions. Luckily, because of my faith in God i was able to accept the reality little by little and trying to view things positively.

I really do experience surprises or unexpected circumstances like in my job right now. We experienced a very big surprise which turned some of us disappointed when we knew that unexpected decision or announcement from our Boss. Now, I and my batch are not yet certain of what would really happen since we are still under training. I can still consider my Job as of this moment as UNSTABLE though I am already hired by the company. hahay.. I am still hoping that everything would go better and successful. In fact, i always ask God's guidance, more blessings, strengths and good health for me to handle everything and to do the best that i can. I admit that i am struggling right now and trying to take it easily so that i would be able to achieve the things that i want to achieve slowly but surely. toinx!

Hush Hush – Pussycat Dolls

I love this song!


Hush Hush – Pussycat Dolls Music Code


Oooooh ooooh

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointin’ out my wrongs
i never needed pain,i never needed strain.
My love for you was strong enough you should’ve known.
I never needed you for judgement
I never needed you to question what i spent
I never asked for help, I take care of myself, I don’t know why you think you got a hold on me.
And it’s a little in the conversations
There isn’t anything that you can say.
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so look at me and listen to me because,

I don’t want to
Stay another minute
I don’t want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don’t want to
Do this any longer
I don’t want you
There’s nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I’ve already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words, i never needed hurt, i never needed you to be there everyday
I’m sorry for the way i let go
Of everything i wanted when you came along
But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong
And it’s a little late for explanations
There isn’t anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when i say baby

I don’t want to
Stay another minute
I don’t want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don’t want to
Do this any longer
I don’t want you
There’s nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I’ve already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush

No more words
No more lies
No more crying ooh ooh
No more pain
No more hurt
No more tryin’ Oh Oh Yeah
Because

I don’t want to
Stay another minute
I don’t want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don’t want to
Do this any longer
I don’t want you
There’s nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I’ve already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush

Yeah Oh
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I’ve already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby